Category: Joke Board
A tongue-tied man goes into a nut shop, and the first thing he notices is that the guy behind the counter has the largest nose he's ever seen in his life.
The tongue-tied guy quickly turns his attention to the merchandise, and asks, "Eth-tues me thur?"
"Yes, sir," replied the clerk.
"Tould you tale me how moths your pithatheos arr?"
"Pistachios? They're six dollars a pound."
"Thit!" the tongue-tied guy goes back to browsing, and then asks,"Welp, how moths arr your aahhmonth?"
"Almonds? They're seven fifty a pound."
"Thit! Ttath ith penthive," replied the tongue-tied man. "Welp, how bout your peecaanth?"
"Pecans? They're on sale today. They're only four fifty a pound."
"Welp, thoot. Jotht div me a pound of dose dhen."
"Alright then ," says the clerk, and begins bagging up a pound of pecans.
Then, the tongue-tied guy says to the clerk, "Thurr, I joth wana tay tank you fo not maken phun of de way I talk, cauz I tan't hep it."
The clerk replies with a smile. "Oh sir, you don't have to thank me for that. I don't make fun of anybody, for anything! I don't know if you noticed, or not, but I have a rather large nose."
The tongue-tied guy replies, "Oh, is dat your noze? I tought dat wuz your peenith thince your nutz arr so damn high."
ooo. lol lol lol!
Ummm, Becky told a dirty joke, I'm tellin'!
But it was funny.
Bob
Gasp, Becky, and all this time I thought you were a lady. I'll never look at you the same just as soon as I get my sight back. Grins, I did crack the faintest hint of a smile though.
Nem-
good one!
I think that would have been better delivered in speech, but it was great, and kudoes for typing all of that lisp out so that a screen reader would pronounce it properly.
I can't take credit for typing all of that out. I just copied and pasted an e-mail from a friend. But this is definitely one of those jokes that is funnier told verbally or with speech software than in print.
laughing my arse off! That was great!